All great things start with an idea and a bit of the crazies. Interestingly enough, the idea to trek to Atlantic City @ 11PM on a Friday night did not come from me, it came from my fellow friend and co-worker Ed. For Lent, Ed had given up the sauce, the booze, the hooch; but not the crazies.

IMPORTANT PLANNING TIP: When planning a blitzkrieg guerilla operation such as this, its best to pick a cast of characters from the group of co-workers you are currently bar hopping with. It’s not only easier, but they may a) be your kind of crazy and b) can make for an interesting and fun group dynamic. That being said, we quickly completed our recruiting. With Ed, Svavar and Fred in tow we made a mad dash for the car.

After making it to the car we shot out of town like a monkey being shot into space. After a few hours in the car our Dirty Vegas Shangri-La was upon us. We made our way from Bally’s, to Caesar’s, to Borgata’s. Overall, I broke even for the night. But as for Fred, Ed, and Svavar, let’s just say that they rendered unto Caesar that which was Caesar’s.

THE CHALLENGE: Borgata’s was our last stop in Atlantic City because in their food court was a Fat Burger. I’ve never heard of this chain, but, before our trip commenced Fred mentioned it as a possible stop and threw down a gauntlet to up the ante. One which he viewed as a Golden Ticket and touted as (perhaps) my claim to fame and fortune. We knew the challenge colloquially as the “Big Burger Challenge”. But based on our research, we found out that it’s birth name is actually The Triple King Challenge. The challenge is to eat a ridiculous triple decker burger with numerous toppings within a certain amount of time to get a t-shirt and your picture taken. Said picture is posted publicly and I hear that the t-shirt is nothing to scoff at. With my picture plastered publicly for gluttony I’m sure it would only a matter of time before I’m discovered by Hollywood. Unfortunately, my time to shine in the Fat Burger spotlight was not destined, for the universe had different plans for us. Upon reaching the much sought after 24 hour Fat Burger franchise, we found they were closed so they could “clean the grill” which was estimated to take at least 20 minutes. They didn’t appear to be doing much cleaning and given the snarky spit in your food vibe we were feeling from the help, we decided to make alternative arrangements.

THE DETOUR: When in the throws of a road trip, detouring your route home for the sake of food is an option that is *always* on the table. Given that Ed, Fred and Svavar had yet to experience legit cheese steaks from Philly, we made our way there with one stipulation; they each had to partake from the two prominent cheese steak vendors in Philadelphia; Pat’s and Geno’s. For the unaware, Pat’s and Geno’s are competitors set right across the street from each other in downtown Philadelphia. They are open year round, 24/7. To quantify “prominent”: when most people think Philly cheese steak, they either think Pat’s or Geno’s. To each their own, hence the taste testing.

THE CHEESE STEAK RESULTS: 3 out of 4 us preferred Geno’s. But I still stand by my Pat’s:

ACME EXISTS!: Our last stop before making the journey back home was at a grocery store. An *Acme* grocery store to be more specific. Based on our shear nostalgia of Looney Tunes, we thought it prudent to proceed with caution through the store. We were fearful that a piano or boulder may fall on our heads. That or perhaps a box a cheap knock-off version of Crispix cereal may explode:

SUMMATION and PROPS: We experienced Dirty Vegas. Money was lost, won, lost and lost some more. Authentic cheese steaks were consumed for breakfast. And, we found where Wily Coyote gets his shipments from. All within 12 hours.

A big thanks to Ed for the idea, crazies, soberness, awake-titude (30+ hours; damn impressive!), the car, and for driving. You are a neato-kean swell host. And thanks to Fred, Svavar and Ed for making this my most interesting and enjoyable impromptu road trip to date.